Hide and Seek

Hide and Seek

I have been blessed to have met some amazing people this past year. I have found a job I absolutely adore and with that job, I have also found individuals who have helped promote my self-confidence to a level that it has not been at in years.

In one my conversations with a co-worker turned BFF, it was brought up in some way that I often wear shirts that are way too big for me. She encouraged that I shouldn’t hide myself because I’ve been working so hard at my goals I should be showing myself off. It was after that conversation I tried and failed to remember when I began this habit. It has now come to the point where I have a closet full of shirts that are three to four, even five times bigger than my size requires.

There is something about a big lumpy sweatshirt that helps me feel safe. It’s almost as if I feel as though that behind these sweatshirts and oversized tees that the parts of me that cause my greatest insecurities feel less significant… like people won’t notice my size if I’m drowning in layers of fabric.

Today, for the first time in forever, I ordered a new sweater that is sized to match my true size and I’m excited and a little bit nervous to try it on.

I have spent the past week at home resting and recovering from a non weight loss related surgery that I might find the courage to write about in the near future. My daily routine has flipped upside down and I have found myself falling back into some old habits. However, in buying that sweater, I have rekindled my fire of motivation to continue seeking to improve my physical and mental health. I’m ready to keep on going and I’m even more ready to stop hiding. 🙂